We Remember

I was still married to my first husband, Chad, and we were living in a house we owned on the West Side of St. Paul. I remember that I was getting ready for work. Somehow I caught wind that something was happening - maybe I had the "Today" show on. I can vividly see what our living room looked like as I stood glued to the TV. I drove to the lab in a haze, and spent the rest of the day sitting around a radio with my lab mates. I remember that David and Tracy were already there when I arrived. I had such a helpless feeling watching this tragedy unfold from afar, with no direct connection to the place or events. Today I realize that we all had connections, through the thread of families and relationships that bind us all together.

Mothers,
Fathers,
Brothers,
Sisters,
Sons,
Daughters,
Aunts,
Uncles,
Grandmothers,
Grandfathers,
Cousins,
Co-workers,
Nieces,
Nephews.

Today my heart is heavy as I remember along with the rest of the world. StoryCorps did an amazing program this morning in honor and remembrance of the 10th anniversary (you can listen to it here). Midway through I couldn't hold back the tears anymore and Derek wasn't home from work yet. Both kids stopped eating breakfast and looked at me with such concern. Zoe reached over and held my hand. She didn't let go until long after the wave had passed.

The kids are too young to understand. I have no idea what I will tell them when they do. I want them to trust the world and the people in it. I want them to be safe.

So we played ball, and ate ice cream, and watched airplanes...

Today we remember. But I am hopeful for our future. Their future.