The Zoe and Silas Show

9/12/13: Explaining to me why he was pretending to be dead. We've had several family deaths occur in the last 6 months, and apparently I've explained death in such concrete terms that they have distilled this information by pretending to be dead sometimes (mostly Silas).

9/7/13: On Saturday morning we headed out to Lake Madison Lutheran Church, an old country church that my family once attended. This is where my Great-Grandma Mable and Great-Grandpa Arthur are buried, and this is where my grandfather wanted to be laid to rest as well. The church is absolutely beautiful, and is flanked by acres and acres of soybeans and corn. There is a bench in our family name, although we don't know from whom it originated. My grandfather was a WWII veteran and was honored with a military service that was very moving. His ashes were placed in an urn adorned with a United States flag that was donated by the VFW. He would have loved this. After the short service we went inside the church, since it had been years since any of us had been there. It was a beautiful morning saying goodbye.

7/25/13: S&Z had a lot of fun making art projects at the Y while Daddy worked out on a rainy Thursday morning. ****** Cook's Notes : Dreary, cold weather and grief over my grandfather's death called for some quick and easy comfort food. THE BEST SIMPLE RECIPES FROM AMERICA'S TEST KITCHEN Tomato-Basil Baked Gnocchi CATEGORIES   pasta INGREDIENTS 3  T. olive oil 1  lb. gnocchi 1  onion, chopped fine 6  garlic cloves, minced 1/8  t. red pepper flakes 1  28 oz. can crushed tomatoes 1  c. water 1/2  c. chopped fresh basil (or try spinach?) 2  c. shredded mozzarella cheese INSTRUCTIONS Preheat oven to 475 degrees. Heat 2 T. oil in a large ovensafe nonstick skillet over medium-high heat until just smoking. Cook gnocchi, stirring occasionally, until lightly browned, about 4 minutes. Transfer to plate. Add 1 T. oil and onion to empty skillet and cook until onion is softened, abo...

7/24/13: My grandfather died in his sleep at age 90 sometime during the night. He lived a long life and passed without suffering, but I am still really, really sad. The last two times I saw him were at Christmas in MN in 2007, and 2008. He loved his family and wife of 60 years very much. We will miss you, Grandpa!

5/6/13: On Monday afternoon we said goodbye to Salvador. We lost Serena 2-1/2 years ago when Zoe & Silas were too young to understand what happened. It's been a tough 9 months for Derek's family, and the conversations we've had to have with the kids about topics that are far beyond their years and comprehension have been emotionally draining. To say that we are ready for a break from sickness and death for awhile would be an understatement. After telling S&Z on Sunday that Salvador would be put to sleep on Monday (and very clearly defining what that meant), I asked if they had any questions. Silas checked in with Zoe and then responded solemnly, "No, we are all out of questions"... This is the first time I have lived without a cat since I was 7 years old, so it's no wonder my house and heart feels so empty. It felt good to look through all the blog posts tagged with 'cats'  tonight. The pictures and videos from when S&Z were babie...

Words cannot express the unthinkable. I cannot explain it to them Thankful I don't have to... Not yet. I want to protect them forever. There will be more  unexplainable  inexplicable horrors in the world. Thankful not for them, not today. The face of innocence. The faces of the innocent.

4/6/13: The sun was shining bright on Saturday morning so we decided to head over to Forest Hills Cemetery . FHC is a beautiful outdoor space with a pond and lots of sculptures.  Following Uncle Larry's death a few weeks ago, visiting a cemetery also gave me a chance to continue the conversation we recently started with S&Z... I wish that this dialogue were not triggered by losing someone we love so much, so I am glad that we have opened up this important topic of conversation with them.

3/26/13: On Tuesday night we finally told S&Z that Uncle Larry died. I had been putting off having this conversation with them because a) I knew I would burst into tears if I tried to do it last week, and b) I didn't know what to say to them. It turns out the hospice website has some good tips for talking to children about death.  Overall the conversation went really well. We said that Larry had died and tried to explain in really simple terms what death is. Zoe said that she felt sad and that she will miss Uncle Larry. Silas had two big questions: 1) from what did Uncle Larry die? ("cancer"), and 2) where did Uncle Larry go? ("we don't know, but he's not here with us anymore"). After we talked a little more about what happened and asked if they had anymore questions, they decided to draw pictures for Uncle Larry. Along the top of Silas' picture he made a lot of scribbles that said "Dear Uncle Larry, I love you soooo much. Love, Si...