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The Voice of Reason

"Fear" and "anxiety" are two emotions that I have been experiencing a lot recently. I always thought that having one baby would be a piece of cake, but now that we know we are having two I'm freaking out a little. This freakout can manifest in a number of different ways, depending on the day. Just ask Derek (who is getting closer to sainthood every day of this pregnancy). So one thing I've been looking forward to is having lunch with Eugenia, a developmental pediatrician who works in my department. Eugenia also happens to have 2-1/2-year-old identical twin girls. Eugenia was the voice of reason today that I have desperately needed to hear. "It's going to be okay. You can do this," she said several times during the course of our two hour lunch. But most of what she gave me today was really good, sound, practical advice from a mom who knows what it's like to have two babies.

One of the things I am currently freaking out about is "stuff". Babies need a lot of stuff, and when you multiply this times two, the stuff a) is expensive, and b) can take over your life. Derek and I have recently started registering for said stuff, and I am keeping a running tally in my head of the stuff we will have to buy if we do not receive it as a baby shower gift. Registering for baby stuff is very different from registering for wedding stuff. For a wedding, couples pick out small appliances and towels and china, but their lives as a wedded couple will go on if they don't get a service set for 12. With babies, however, you actually do need 80-90% of the stuff that goes onto your registry. Babies 'R Us has figured this out and will offer you 10% off the remaining items on your registry ~ 2 weeks before your due date. They have your number. They know you need the stuff.

When we thought we were having one baby I really wanted all brand new stuff. "We're going to have another baby in a few years" I would say, "I want to start with new stuff." This approach to parenthood has been thrown out the window. Not because I don't possibly want another baby in the future, but because we simply can't afford all new stuff.

Now that we have figured out what we need, I have begun scouring the JP Moms classified ads and craigslist. For example, last night we identified the double stroller we want at Magic Beans. The "Mountain Buggy Urban Double" sells for a mere $749, not including the rain cover and sun cover. On craigslist today I actually found a family in JP today selling this exact stroller for $175! We are hoping to go and look at it tomorrow! Fingers crossed that it is in good shape...

Not only was Eugenia the voice of reason I needed today, but she is also selling us two cribs for $400. In addition, she is "throwing in" random crib sheets, mattress protectors, a large pack-and-play, two booster seats, a double stroller frame, two baby gates, a double diaper bag, and a bottle dishwasher rack. Half of the stuff she is giving us just got thrown in during our conversation today!

Eugenia also helped me figure out what items we need two of (swings = parents' sleep savior), and what items we can pare down and get by with just one (bouncy seat). I promptly updated our registry accordingly! She also put me in touch with two other parents who are itching to get rid of their stuff. The first thing she told me is to buy the book Baby Bargains. I think I will pick it up on my way home from work today.

What I have concluded is that this stuff thing just comes around and goes around. I am sure that we will be oh-too-happy to pass along our stuff to someone who needs it in the coming years!

Now, onto my next freakout...

Comments

  1. Baby Bargains is an awesome resource. We pretty much just registered for everything they recommend in their sample registry. Babies do need a lot of stuff, but the good news is that babies get a lot of shower gifts. And hand-me-down baby gear is awesome - we inherited an exersaucer, a swing, a jogging stroller, etc, from parents who just wanted the stuff out of their house! Hope the stroller worked out!

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